Label Not the Children
From the Newsletter March 2023
Virtue is a gift. Our tendencies toward good and evil are ever with us and seem to find their second verse as our children see and do asthey observe. Mason detractors can sometimes read her writings like “children are not born bad but with possibilities for good and for evil” and become concerned that she does not believe in original sin. This is not, however, a religious statement as much as one about education and its’ power to crush or elevate a child who has natural tendencies one way or the other. One only need read Dickens to see the extreme outcomes in taking the approach of a child as wicked. Conversely, the tide had begun to turn in Mason’s day that children are born either as a blank slate or pure. Anyone in relationship with a child knows that neither extreme is true. It is the wisdom of the parent who uses “tact, watchfulness, and persistence” to train a child from infancy who supports weakness in love and encourages strength without playing on affections.
We can imagine how it may negatively impact a child to be labeled as “the difficult child,” “bad at math,” or some other negative connotation. We say this offhandedly at times and it gives the child an “out” – or rather it gives us as parents the escape. If the child is not a “sports person” then it is no one’s fault. What would happen instead if we, knowing a child is weak in an area, sought to support and strengthen his relationship with a subject or skill without the unnecessary addition of putting him in a box? I have seen relationships with subjects and parents restored by taking a different approach to helping where it is hard and encouraging when small successes are seen. Equally detrimental can be the slotting of a child into what we might deem as “good.” A child who is “SO responsible” may take this on and grieve overmuch when there is a perceived failure. One who is told she is a great artist may not seek to get better, but rest in apathy or become prideful. Instead of this language, of good/bad we can support by saying that things may be natural to a child while still maintaining a growth mindset. My own struggle in this as a parent comes often when I see my own strengths and weaknesses in my children. There is nothing quite like seeing a child’s sin, being angry, and then realizing the weakness is mine. As we come alongside our children let us remember our own Father and how He so lovingly shepherds us. He does not allow us to wallow in weakness, nor does he desire pride to grow in that which comes easily. Through our own education may we lift our children to the grace He provides.
